Now that I come to tell my LA stories to someone new, I actually had an awesome time in the brief spell I was there. I bowled with Lou Rawls, I made Diana Ross laugh, I got fired by Charlie Sheen, I unknowingly stood behind Gwen Stefani in line at Ralph's, I almost killed Zach de la Rocha with a slice of pizza, I saw drunk-ass Danny Devito stumbling outta his seat at Hama Sushi, I smoked a cigarette with Selma Blair, I got Biff from Back to the Future to say "Why don't you make like a tree and get outta here ... "

I'm pretty sure Tim Curry hit on me in the set of Addams Family, I worked with 5 of the 7 stars of the film version of Clue, Jason Lee bought me a beer because someone thought I was him, I made Patrick Bergen's night when I told him my fav movie of his was NOT Sleeping with the Enemy, but Map of the Human Heart, I got to see Eugene Levy improvise on the set ...

I saw drunk ass Norm MacDonald at Hollywood Star Lanes ... and Lenny Kravitz too. He turned out to be short!

I told some assholes who wouldn't shut up at a screening of Run Lola Run to shut up, and the girl behind me made a point to come up to me after the movie and say thanks ... and she turned out to be Fiona Apple ....

... and those are just dumb celebrity stories. The best times came with the friends I met. Why did I leave LA again? 😎