The Shitty 1912 Candidacy of William Howard Taft, R., OH.

Quick Bio: The 27th President, 1909-13, and later Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Taft is the only POTUS to have also filled a role on the SCOTUS. He also filled some large clothes as the heaviest President (he maxed at 335 lbs.). A Cincinnati native, a Yale legacy, and a Skull and Bones member, Taft studied law and managed to be appointed as a Superior Court judge by age 29. He was later Governor-General of the Philippines and repeatedly turned down nominations for the Supreme Court (until finally accepting the Chief Justice position in his autumn years). Taft is the only incumbent President whose reelection bid resulted in finishing not first, or second, but third. William met his future wife Helen at a bobsledding party, because don’t we all, and enjoyed a 46-year marriage with three children.